Miscarriage Awareness Month

Unless you live under a rock, you're probably aware that it's Breast Cancer Awareness month. Those little pink ribbons are everywhere, so I'm not sure how anyone could miss it. My mom is currently undergoing treatments for breast cancer, so I am immensely thankful for all the awareness and support that is going on right now. A few weekends ago my family (including my mom) and I participated in the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. It was a truly awesome experience, one I'll never, ever forget. We all said that we hoped to participate again next year. I hope that it turns into an annual tradition for us. All that being said, I read today that October is also Miscarriage Awareness Month, and October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. I never knew there was such a thing. Miscarriage isn't something that's openly discussed, at least not in my experience. For many women, there's a lot of shame regarding miscarriage. It's also a very painful subject. And it's a subject that only a limited number of people understand. I was so glad to find out that there's a group of women trying to raise awareness for miscarriage and infant loss, no matter how small that amount of awareness is right now. Breast Cancer Awareness is huge now, but at its inception it was small and relatively unknown. I hope that one day Miscarriage Awareness will be just as widely known. I'm not at all comparing miscarriage and breast cancer. They are both traumatic and terrible in their own ways, but they're different. I would never compare my miscarriages to what my mom is going through with breast cancer. Never. But every woman who has experienced or will one day experience a miscarriage (or multiple miscarriages) needs other people to be aware of how often miscarriage occurs, that it's an excruciatingly painful experience, that it needs to be dealt with as sensitively and lovingly as any other loss, and that she is a mom, too. For more information visit The Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day website, and spread the word.

Goodwill, The Dollar Store & My Attic

I'm in the process of decorating the house for fall. I'm wanting to do something a little different from previous years without spending a bunch of $$$, so I've been busy crafting and re-purposing and creating. Here are a couple of my favorite projects.


A couple Dollar Store vases like this...




Along with a couple Dollar Store candlesticks...




And a little Gorilla Glue (this stuff is awesome, and I swear you could build a house with it)...




TaDa! An apothecary-esque jar!




I love how they look on the table in our foyer. Everything inside them and on the table is stuff I already had, for a grand total of $3.50. My favorite thing about these is that I can use them all year round. I think they'll be especially pretty at Christmas.






This is my mantle from last year. I did pretty much the same thing the year before that, so I wanted a new look this year. I haven't actually done anything to the mantle yet, but see those 3 pumpkins made out of sticks (2 on the left and 1 beside the lantern)? I turned them into a pumpkin topiary.




First, I painted the leaves green. They were orange (not really sure why, and not really sure why I allowed them to stay orange the last 3 years either), which matched absolutely nothing in my house.




Then I took this little urn, which I got at Goodwill for $0.50, took out the moss and styrofoam, weighted it with some rice so that the topiary wouldn't be too top heavy, and then hot glued the moss and styrofoam back in.




Finally, I hot glued (my hot glue gun really got put to work today) the 3 pumpkins onto the top of the urn and then added some leaves and berries and twiggy things. Here's the final product.



This is one of my favorite things that I've ever made. I love how it turned out! The best part is that it cost me $0.50 (the cost of the urn). I already had everything else and just re-purposed it all.

A Few Things I've Learned From My Crafting Adventures

I need a new pair of crafting scissors. This is a pair of Fiskars safety scissors that I've had since I was in 3rd grade. 3rd grade! That's very close to 20 years ago! Notice that they're purple. Evidently, I was still going through my "Purple Phase" when I got them. During my purple phase everything had to be purple, and I mean everything. I'm pretty sure that phase lasted entirely too long and that it almost drove my mom crazy. When it comes to colors, I've branched out considerably since the 3rd grade, and my hands are slightly larger. Not to mention the fact that safety scissors weren't really meant to cut through wire and other such things. These poor scissors have been through enough. It's time to let them go.




Gorilla Glue is really hard to get out of your hair. Thanks to my mom for helping me chip it out. And for laughing with me (at me?) the entire time.




I need a craft room. My living room looks like Hobby Lobby exploded.

Happy Birthday, Mama!

Today is my mom's birthday. She's an amazing mom, truly amazing, and she's mine! Although, I do occasionally share her with my sister. My mom is the strongest person I know, a fact that has been reinforced over the last 7 months. She's also the least selfish person I know. She knows me inside and out, and I love the fact that she understands me so well. If anyone deserves a wonderful birthday, it's my mom, and I hope that she truly does have a wonderful day!

Busy!

I promise I haven't forgotten about this blog. I've just been busy. Busy traveling to Kansas for my cousin's wedding and to visit my hubby's family...




Busy with various crafts and sewing projects (more on that later) and busy hanging out with this adorable little guy...



I mean, who cares about blog posts when you've got this cutie pie to love on? Look at those crinkly, sparkly eyes and those squishable cheeks! He's not mine, but he melts my heart anyway!

A Hard Day

Two years ago today was my due date for my first pregnancy. If things had gone like we thought they would, we would have a two year old running around our house, and I would be throwing a 2nd birthday party. I can't help but wonder who that little two year old would have been or what kind of party I would have planned. I know that it's totally pointless, but I can't help thinking about these things. It's always on my mind in some way, some days more than others, but it's there nonetheless. Today is just one of those really hard days. August is a hard month for me. Four days from today was my due date for my second pregnancy. Instead of getting ready to have a baby like I thought, I'll be attending a wedding. If that pregnancy had been successful, I wouldn't have been able to attend. I would either have just had a baby (because let's face it, most babies don't come on their due dates), or I would have been so pregnant that traveling wouldn't have been possible. It's days like today, weeks like this week, and months like this month that I get so tired. Tired of thinking about what could have been. Tired of wondering what our babies would have been like. Tired of missing my babies. Tired of feeling left out of mommyhood. Tired of the terrible ache that I feel when I see a pregnant woman or hear a baby cry or see teeny, tiny baby clothes. Tired of feeling like I'm alone in all of this and like everyone has forgotten. Tired of crying. Just tired. Before you think horribly of me, let me just say that I'm truly not wallowing in self-pity or in my emotions. I have too much going on in my life right now to wallow. I'll have a few more rough days, and then I'll be okay. Today is just one of those rough days.

My Least Favorite Questions to Answer

"Do you guys have children?" and "Are y'all going to start trying anytime soon?" I hate having to answer those questions, and I normally try to change the subject when I sense one of them coming. But when we meet someone new, we're inevitably, at some point in the conversation, asked, "Do you guys have children?" What I want to say is, "Yes, we have two babies in heaven. And I miss them everyday." But I figure that's probably not the best way to continue comfortable conversation, so I answer with a polite, "No, not yet." That usually leads to the next question, "Are y'all going to start trying anytime soon?" I've been asked that question more times than I can count, but it catches me off guard every single time. It never fails. Maybe it's because it's so personal in nature, and I'm not really one to ask other people personal questions. Anyway, once I'm able to regain my composure, I usually answer with something like, "We're letting it happen when it happens" or "We'd love for it to happen soon" because most people would be traumatized if I were to burst into tears and say what I feel like saying. That would probably sound something like, "We ARE trying. And we HAVE been for what seems like an eternity. And it's been hard, really, really hard. And you have NO idea how much I ache, really and truly ache, to have a baby or how empty my arms feel every single day and how badly I want to hold our babies." However, I was always taught not to yell at people, especially people I've just met, so I choose a more appropriate response! I should say, though, that I don't always mind answering these questions. It depends on the relationship or the context, and I don't hold it against people when they do ask. I know they're just showing interest and trying to make conversation. I hope I'm not coming across as whiny or dramatic because I'm truly not trying to be either of those things. It's just that it seems like I've had to answer these two questions a whole lot lately, so maybe I'm venting. Maybe I just needed to share. Maybe it's my blog and I can write WHATEVER I WANT WITHOUT JUSTIFYING IT OR QUALIFYING IT! Kidding. Just kidding! Remember, I don't yell at people! =) And I promise I'm not crazy. Although I might be going crazy. It's likely due to my retarded hormones and my currently heightened emotions. At least, that's what I'm blaming it on. For now.