Tuesday, August 10, 2010

My Least Favorite Questions to Answer

"Do you guys have children?" and "Are y'all going to start trying anytime soon?" I hate having to answer those questions, and I normally try to change the subject when I sense one of them coming. But when we meet someone new, we're inevitably, at some point in the conversation, asked, "Do you guys have children?" What I want to say is, "Yes, we have two babies in heaven. And I miss them everyday." But I figure that's probably not the best way to continue comfortable conversation, so I answer with a polite, "No, not yet." That usually leads to the next question, "Are y'all going to start trying anytime soon?" I've been asked that question more times than I can count, but it catches me off guard every single time. It never fails. Maybe it's because it's so personal in nature, and I'm not really one to ask other people personal questions. Anyway, once I'm able to regain my composure, I usually answer with something like, "We're letting it happen when it happens" or "We'd love for it to happen soon" because most people would be traumatized if I were to burst into tears and say what I feel like saying. That would probably sound something like, "We ARE trying. And we HAVE been for what seems like an eternity. And it's been hard, really, really hard. And you have NO idea how much I ache, really and truly ache, to have a baby or how empty my arms feel every single day and how badly I want to hold our babies." However, I was always taught not to yell at people, especially people I've just met, so I choose a more appropriate response! I should say, though, that I don't always mind answering these questions. It depends on the relationship or the context, and I don't hold it against people when they do ask. I know they're just showing interest and trying to make conversation. I hope I'm not coming across as whiny or dramatic because I'm truly not trying to be either of those things. It's just that it seems like I've had to answer these two questions a whole lot lately, so maybe I'm venting. Maybe I just needed to share. Maybe it's my blog and I can write WHATEVER I WANT WITHOUT JUSTIFYING IT OR QUALIFYING IT! Kidding. Just kidding! Remember, I don't yell at people! =) And I promise I'm not crazy. Although I might be going crazy. It's likely due to my retarded hormones and my currently heightened emotions. At least, that's what I'm blaming it on. For now.


  1. Dito! Can I copy and paste this to my blog? Ha!! I feel the same way and know exactly what you are talking about. I don't think you are crazy. I have one of these conversations at least once a week, it seems like! Occasionally I will tell someone that we do have a baby in heaven, but it seems easier to just say that we don't have any children yet. Brad knows how conversations like this effect me, so he has learned when to jump in answer all those questions. Isn't it sweet to think our babies are together?

    I love you Ms. Sheila! :)

  2. I love you too, Ms. Crock, and I would feel honored to have you post this on your blog! =) I would love so much to see our babies running around up there together! We will one day, and I can't wait for that day.

  3. I just stubbled onto your blog from the prayer list on Daniel and Lyndsie's blog. I wanted to say your story is dear to my heart, and I will be praying for you and your husband. My husband and I have also had 2 miscarriages, and the first one our babies heart stopped beating and we had to have the D&C. I wanted you to know someone understands how you are feeling.